We attended a two day training in Madison this week, and passed, thank goodness! The training covered what it will be like to raise a child that is not our biological child, the attachment process, traveling to South Korea, and what life will be like for a child from South Korea living in the U.S.A. There was some good information given, and some important things for us to remember while going through this process and for when our child is home.
One of the things we talked about during the training was using Adoption Positive Language. This is something that we really hadn’t heard about until we began this process, so we think it would be a good thing to share with all of you.
Adoption Positive Language
Negative Language Positive Language
Real Parent Birth Parent/Biological Parent
Given Up/Given Away Placed for Adoption
Is Adopted Was Adopted
Adopted Mom/Dad Mom/Dad
Own Child Biological Child
Foreign Adoption International Adoption
** I want to add a side note here that we do not expect everyone to use the correct positive adoption language 100% of the time. We completely understand this is new to most of our friends and family, and if we are being completely honest, we may have been scolded a few times during our training for saying the incorrect things. We are just hoping to educate people about this process, and do the best we can to make sure our child is coming home to a very accepting and loving environment.
I am also adding to this post a post I did a while ago called “Adoption Q & A”. There is a link to this post if you go to the menu, but since these seem to be the most common questions people want to know, we thought we would post it again.
Are you adopting for North or South Korea?
We are adopting from South Korea.
Are you going to get a girl?
More boys are released for international adoption in South Korea. Families in Korea prefer to adopt girls domestically, so that leaves a large number of boys looking for forever families. We are pretty good at raising little boys, and we have a lot of little boy stuff, so we are open to taking a child of either gender.
How long will it take?
I wrote a blog post on the timeline, so please check that out under the menu tab, but the process typically takes about 24 months from the first application to brining the child home. Right now we are finishing our home study. We are hoping to be matched with a child in the spring.
How old will the baby be?
Children are not released to be adopted internationally until they are at least 6 months old. We could be matched with a child 6 months or older, and then after completing all the other steps would be bringing home a child that is between 18-24 months old.
Will the child have special needs?
There is always a possibility that any child could have a special need whether it is a biological or adopted child. We did complete a check list including the special needs that we felt like our family could care for, but that is something that we will keep private for the sake of our child.
How much will it cost?
Adoptions from South Korea typically cost between $30,000 – $50,000.
Why South Korea and not the United States?
This is a very personal decision for anyone adopting. I have always wanted to adopt from South Korea, and know there are children all over the world that need to be adopted into loving families. For our family, we know that God has a child for us from South Korea, so that is where we are adopting from.
What are South Korea’s Requirements for Adoptive Parents?
South Korea has their own unique requirements for adoptive parents. Parents must be married for at least 3 years, between the ages of 25-44, cannot have more than 4 children already in the home, the youngest child in the home must be 1 year older than the child being adopted, parents must be free of any serious physical/mental illness, have no criminal history, and have a BMI of less than 30%.